Please wait as we prepare your PDF file ....

Mission Chronicle Blog

Search Blog

our goal is to help you stay informed by providing timely and interesting articles.

11 dad jokes fit for Father’s Day


Download PDF

There comes a time in every man’s life (well, many men) when he becomes his father.

For me, this happened on June 20, 2012, the day I devised this exceptional bungee cord rigging system to attach a water bottle to my bike seat.

Now, don’t get all snarky about how they make water bottle cages for things like that. I know that. The point is, this was inarguably a better method, cobbled together from whatever I had on-hand. That’s a dad-level expert workaround right there.

Yes sir, June 12, 2012 was indeed a landmark date in this transition; there was a distinct before and after to it, and in that aftermath, I worked hard to embrace my newfound old manhood.

Harder to discern in my timeline, however, was the moment I officially started cracking incredibly bad dad jokes. My son Graves was already 10 in 2012, and I’m almost certain I started cranking out terrible puns while he was still a bun in the oven.

What’s funny (not “haha” funny — in fact, if you want “haha” funny, probably best to click away) is I remember rolling my eyes feverishly at my dad when he would deliver his own special brand of terrible in my teens, yet for me throughout my whole parenting career, I have never felt anything but a sense of great accomplishment with each awful punchline.

Four things to consider when choosing your first brokerage It’s a big decision, so keep these questions in mind before you make the commitment READ MORE

It seems the gift of dad jokery is something you inherit from your pops. Whether it’s through constant, wearisome exposure or just via the slow degradation of your own standards and sensibilities as parenthood marches up, on and over you is hard to say.

Regardless, Sunday is Father’s Day, and we thought this a great opportunity to bring you 11 massive groaners from the past 70-plus years to share with those you love:

I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living. It’s just something I can see myself doing. Wanna hear a joke about a stone? Never mind, I’ll just skip that one. Son: “Dad, are you alright?” Dad: “No, I’m half left and half right.” Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands. Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean? Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide. Daughter: “Dad, I’m cold.” Dad: “Go stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.” Jimmy (reading facts and figures from his dad’s insurance tables): “Did you know that every time I breathe, a man dies?” Dad: “Why don’t you use a little mouthwash now and then?” Did you hear the news that a lot of applications just came in from people looking to pursue a career as the government’s top-ranking medical official? Yes, there was a surge in general. I’ve always admired fishermen. Now those are reel men. “Have you heard of Murphy’s law?” “Yeah.” “What is it?” “If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.” “That’s right. Have you heard of Cole’s law?” “No, what is it?” “Thinly sliced cabbage and mayo.” What do you call a bad joke? This.

Happy Father’s Day to all dads past, present and future from Inman! You have a proud heritage of quippy moments bestowed upon you to carry on down through the ages, you might even call it a “one-lineage”?

Editor’s note: These jokes were a combination of jokes taken from Bad Dad Jokes 2019 Box Calendar CalendarDad Jokes: The Good. The Bad. The Terrible.Your Own Joke Book, the mind of our own Devon Brokderick, who is an awe-inspiring father himself, and his son Graves, who has clearly caught the dad-joke bug. 

Source: click here

Read More



  • Lesson Learned: Learn to trust yourself

    Each week, we talk to agents across the country about what they’ve learned along the way (and what...

  • Exiting real estate: Is your business ready for you to leave?

    Although it’s smart to have a retirement plan, it’s even smarter to have a transition or backup ...

  • 4 reasons your buyer clients need to purchase before 2020

    Here are four ways to frame a conversation about homebuying with clients who are on the fence on whe...

  • Be more than a service provider. Be the solution.

    This is a true story. Armed with hours of HGTV and a screwdriver, a homeowner named Gina set out to ...

  • Which comes first: your team brand or individual brands?

    Every real estate agent thinks about how to brand themselves to stand out from the competition. When...

  • Refer globally to succeed locally

    In today’s luxury real estate landscape, providing service to local clients takes a global perspec...

  • Speed-to-lead: The mission-critical step where most agents fall short

    Every agent’s book of business is going to vary. Your “pie” of lead sources might look somethi...

  • Why retargeting should be part of your firm’s marketing strategy

    Retargeting: What is it and what does it mean for your firm? At this point, we’ve probably all exp...

  • Real estate agents: Create a VIP customer experience

    In the competitive real estate arena, customer experience is key to an agent’s success, whether th...

  • Lead-gen game changer: How to get 10,000 new followers in 60 days

    With a focused approach and amped up posting strategy, Sam Khorramian quadrupled his Instagram follo...

September 2019
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
« Aug    

  • Polls

    What information you are looking for?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...
  • Last month Results

    How Is My Site?

    • Good (100%, 3 Votes)
    • Excellent (0%, 0 Votes)
    • Bad (0%, 0 Votes)
    • Can Be Improved (0%, 0 Votes)
    • No Comments (0%, 0 Votes)

    Total Voters: 3


    Loading ... Loading ...